OKONA INSPIRE

2013 hasn’t exactly gotten off to the best start for me. 2012 was my year of opportunities but it had its ups and downs. I was so excited to start a New Year fresh . . . in a healthy relationship, new opportunities, a new chapter to be written. . .

I brought 2013 in with a bang and I mean that literally. I was at a friend’s house having a good time. We were outside and next thing I know I’m doing a hand stand, well I should say I attempted a hand stand. Normally I land them and I’ve never fallen or lost my balance. This time not so much; I went up and came back down fast and hard. I lost my balance and face planted on the sidewalk. At first I didn’t think it was anything, yes it hurt but I was fine. Side note: mind you I was sober when I was doing this. It was about 11pm and so I brought the New Year in with great friends, good times and quite the mark on my face.

A few hours after getting home I got real sick, threw up a few times and passed out. I was txting with Josh (my b/f who was in NC visiting family) and passed out. I don’t remember falling asleep. I woke up the next day with quite the head ache and some swelling around my eye. It was the first day of a new year and new beginnings, just didn’t realize how soon those new beginnings would be happening. Josh was coming home; I was excited and stayed busy waiting. I met up with friends to do a polar plunge and to get out of the house for a bit. Considering NYE’s accident, probably not the smartest idea but I didn’t want to sit around all day either. Plus part of my New Year’s resolutions, as you can call it, is to be a little more proactive in the Tri club and with my Tri friends. My friend Katie was there and was going in the water without a wetsuit so I scratched mine as well, I couldn’t really swim anyways considering my head wounds so in I walked in slowly (YEAH it was COLD) and came out very quickly. Water was about 50 degrees and air temp about 60 but it was over cast, rainy and chilly out. It was another fun way to kick off the New Year with friends.  After the plunge I headed home. Josh came over and we had a nice relaxing evening by the fire – me trying to still warm up. It was a great first day to 2013 . . .

I went back to work Wednesday but that didn’t last long. The swelling I had was getting worse so I finally went to the doctor. I was feeling horrible and the dizziness wouldn’t go away. I had a couple CT Scans and thankfully no bleeding and no fractures. Diagnosed with a head injury/concussion and was told to rest the rest of the week. I didn’t mind it so much and it felt good to sleep. However the no training part was going to be difficult – DR said no activity for two weeks. WHAT!!!!  Josh came over Wed and Thur to help out and take care of me and for that I was thankful. May not have been a great kick off to the New Year with the concussion but I had a great time with friends regardless and I still had so much more to look forward to –> Josh was one of those things . . . a healthy relationship. We had our ups and downs before the holiday’s figuring out things and learning each other. I was scared and put up my defense, it happens and I’m not perfect and he had his things as well . . . We talked through it and I was looking forward to a fresh start together.

By the end of the week, I wasn’t feeling well and a bit mopey – I was getting a little stir crazy and I was really looking forward to a quiet weekend with Josh. However, that wasn’t in the cards. He showed up at my house after work on Friday and we started talking, long story short he broke up with me . I Didn’t understand it b/c it came out of nowhere and well I wasn’t really myself feeling the way I was. I woke up Saturday thinking it was a dream but it wasn’t and the reality of it hit me. We talked again but it is what it is and everything happens for a reason right. I’m thankful for great friends to be there for me and helping me see the positives rather than looking at the negatives which brings me back to where I was going with this entry. . .

Rocky start to a New Year . . .

So 2013 didn’t really get off to a great start – a concussion and a break up. Probably the worst start to a new I’ve ever experienced to be honest. I could sit here and dwell on the negatives, be sad, down and feel sorry for myself but that isn’t who I am. Regardless they are still new beginnings . . . well maybe not so much the concussion, that’s just a reminder of a fun night with old friends who I need to stay more in touch with. Well there you have it – it is a new beginning after all.

Break ups are never easy, especially when you care for someone and make an effort. The relationship didn’t get off the best start, some of the best things in life don’t come easy . . .  it had the potential to be something great now that I was aware of my fears and not putting up walls and him with his things. But as I mentioned, everything does happen for a reason and maybe it is for the best. As much as I want to be sad and dwell, I’m going to look at the positives and move forward. It’s cleashay to say this – I deserve better?!  We had a great time together and he was my best friend at the time. People come in and out of our lives all the time and sometimes once their purpose is served they are taken out of our lives. Maybe that was what Josh was, someone to pass through and re-introduce myself to me. I kind of lost sight of who I was being scared and fearful, putting up walls . . . But when one door closes a new one always opens.

“Life doesn’t give you people you want. It gives you the people you need: to help you, to hurt you, to love you, to leave you and to make you the person you were meant to be.”

Silver Lining . . . 

2013 has so much in store for me and I can’t wait to share it all . . . Opportunities to last a life time, new people that will be brought into my life and old friendships to reconnect with which are the real friends you know you can count on.

Regardless of the hiccups the first week of the New Year – it will still be a great year. . . wait, I mean an EPIC year; I got the bad stuff out of the way already 2013 will be a year of moving forward . . .

 . . . It’s time to make a difference, inspire, motivate . . .